NUMBING RAW EMOTIONS

Yesterday in late afternoon, that time of day when my energy often plummets, I noticed tension in my belly.  Yes, I was tired, nothing unusual about that, but what was this knot in my stomach about?  The day had been such a good one.  There had been good energy and a joyful flow.   Then I thought back to feedback someone had given me.  It was loving and positive, but I wondered if there was more to her feedback than she shared.  All kinds of thoughts about what people think of me emerged.  Yikes!

As I thought about how much it still matters to me what other people think, the tension in my belly increased.  Suddenly I felt famished!

It started with a spoonful of peanut butter and an apple.  Still hungry, I opened the cupboard and got out some spaghetti noodles.  Soon the big pot was out and water was boiling on the stove. 

The spaghetti was al dente in 9 minutes.  I filled my favorite little yellow bowl with noodles and covered them with a red sauce I had in the refrigerator.  Several tosses of my fork and everything was all mixed together.

I stood in the middle of my kitchen with the bowl in my hand, slurping down hot spaghetti noodles. They were so good!  And the texture so satisfying!

Slurp, gulp.  Slurp, gulp.  The noodles were gone in a matter of minutes, but there were plenty more in the colander.  I decided to have another bowl.

I realized I was eating for comfort, but I could not stop myself.

After the third bowl, the food had done its job of sedating me.  I lay down on my bed and had soon drifted off into sleep.

In the land of milk and honey, food is an ever present temptation for numbing raw emotions.  We can go to it when we are:

• tired
• bored/empty
• agitated/upset/irritated
• fearful

It immediately fills you up and relaxes you, and might even send you off to dreamland if you lie down.  Food works to numb us!  And it's always available!

Argh!

I'm still pondering what can soothe my tiredness, tension, and fear better than 3 bowls of spaghetti.

What do you do when temptation to numb comes? 

Spaghetti and a crisp green salad is one of my favorite meals.